Welcome!

News Feed Item

All Five Great Lakes Relocate Farther South

"Super annoying" polar vortex cited as rationale for departure

BATON ROUGE, La., April 1, 2014 /PRNewswire/ -- Fed up with the polar vortex that has brought the harshest winter since the discovery of Seasonal Affective Disorder, the Great Lakes have collectively issued a change of address and relocated to a warmer climate, according to geography experts at Rand McNally. All five of the lakes have moved to an area stretching from southern Louisiana to the Lake of the Ozarks. The new Great Lakes settlement occupies what was previously land between the longitudinal meridians 95 degrees W and 81 degrees W.

The five siblings stress that the move was not a rash decision. They carefully considered the route over the course of several weeks, and would have left at the end of February, but had to wait for a permit from the Freshwater Fish Federation. They finally departed on Sunday, March 23, heading southwest along the Illinois River. They stopped to rehydrate in St. Louis, and continued south along the Mississippi River to their final destinations.

"It was rather treacherous," Lake Erie, the baby of the bunch, said. "I wasn't entirely sure we'd make it. Fortunately, I brought snacks." Lake Erie has taken with him the famed Niagara Falls and leaves Canadian/U.S. hydroelectricity options up in the air.

For Lake Michigan, the delay was unwarranted. "I was totes looking forward to Mardi Gras and St. Paddy's Day down here in Louisiana," she lamented. Lake Michigan leaves behind some 12 million residents of Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana and Michigan without a waterfront. Bemused boaters puzzled over a mud-scrawled note reading, "Glacier wuz here."

Lake Huron said, "I feel like I was just stuck in the middle on this one. I don't know that I would have moved at all, frankly, but we've just got to make the best of it. The important thing is that HOMES* stays together. We gotta represent."

Lake Superior could not be bothered and had no comment.

In an official statement, Lake Ontario, agent/publicist for the Great Lakes, said he will dearly miss his moose friends, as well as sunsets over Toronto. In an unofficial statement, the Georgian Bay said he woke up the morning of Monday, March 24, to find his neighbors had gone, adding, "I'd think it'd be better to tell a guy instead a leavin' in the middle a the night, eh?" The Georgian Bay also remarked that it will be nice to walk around in his underwear and not have to pull the shades.

The Finger Lakes of New York have planned a visit later this summer. Beyond this housewarming party, the Great Lakes' future plans are uncertain. "We haven't decided if this is a permanent move, or if we'll just be snowbirds from now on," they say. "We'll have to see how it goes down here. For now, we're just gonna soak it all in."

*For crossword puzzle nerds, HOMES is an acronym for the Great Lakes: Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie and Superior.

About Rand McNally - Rand McNally is the country's most trusted source for maps, navigation, and travel content. Having been around since 1856, the company has endured pranks, looking for things that don't exist, and moving lines around for 158 years. Happy April Fool's Day!

SOURCE Rand McNally

More Stories By PR Newswire

Copyright © 2007 PR Newswire. All rights reserved. Republication or redistribution of PRNewswire content is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of PRNewswire. PRNewswire shall not be liable for any errors or delays in the content, or for any actions taken in reliance thereon.

Latest Stories
In his session at 19th Cloud Expo, Claude Remillard, Principal Program Manager in Developer Division at Microsoft, contrasted how his team used config as code and immutable patterns for continuous delivery of microservices and apps to the cloud. He showed how the immutable patterns helps developers do away with most of the complexity of config as code-enabling scenarios such as rollback, zero downtime upgrades with far greater simplicity. He also demoed building immutable pipelines in the cloud ...
Using new techniques of information modeling, indexing, and processing, new cloud-based systems can support cloud-based workloads previously not possible for high-throughput insurance, banking, and case-based applications. In his session at 18th Cloud Expo, John Newton, CTO, Founder and Chairman of Alfresco, described how to scale cloud-based content management repositories to store, manage, and retrieve billions of documents and related information with fast and linear scalability. He addres...
Hardware virtualization and cloud computing allowed us to increase resource utilization and increase our flexibility to respond to business demand. Docker Containers are the next quantum leap - Are they?! Databases always represented an additional set of challenges unique to running workloads requiring a maximum of I/O, network, CPU resources combined with data locality.
The cloud market growth today is largely in public clouds. While there is a lot of spend in IT departments in virtualization, these aren’t yet translating into a true “cloud” experience within the enterprise. What is stopping the growth of the “private cloud” market? In his general session at 18th Cloud Expo, Nara Rajagopalan, CEO of Accelerite, explored the challenges in deploying, managing, and getting adoption for a private cloud within an enterprise. What are the key differences between wh...
Due of the rise of Hadoop, many enterprises are now deploying their first small clusters of 10 to 20 servers. At this small scale, the complexity of operating the cluster looks and feels like general data center servers. It is not until the clusters scale, as they inevitably do, when the pain caused by the exponential complexity becomes apparent. We've seen this problem occur time and time again. In his session at Big Data Expo, Greg Bruno, Vice President of Engineering and co-founder of StackIQ...
Security, data privacy, reliability, and regulatory compliance are critical factors when evaluating whether to move business applications from in-house, client-hosted environments to a cloud platform. Quality assurance plays a vital role in ensuring that the appropriate level of risk assessment, verification, and validation takes place to ensure business continuity during the migration to a new cloud platform.
"Tintri was started in 2008 with the express purpose of building a storage appliance that is ideal for virtualized environments. We support a lot of different hypervisor platforms from VMware to OpenStack to Hyper-V," explained Dan Florea, Director of Product Management at Tintri, in this SYS-CON.tv interview at 18th Cloud Expo, held June 7-9, 2016, at the Javits Center in New York City, NY.
Containers have changed the mind of IT in DevOps. They enable developers to work with dev, test, stage and production environments identically. Containers provide the right abstraction for microservices and many cloud platforms have integrated them into deployment pipelines. DevOps and containers together help companies achieve their business goals faster and more effectively. In his session at DevOps Summit, Ruslan Synytsky, CEO and Co-founder of Jelastic, reviewed the current landscape of Dev...
One of the hottest areas in cloud right now is DRaaS and related offerings. In his session at 16th Cloud Expo, Dale Levesque, Disaster Recovery Product Manager with Windstream's Cloud and Data Center Marketing team, will discuss the benefits of the cloud model, which far outweigh the traditional approach, and how enterprises need to ensure that their needs are properly being met.
The security needs of IoT environments require a strong, proven approach to maintain security, trust and privacy in their ecosystem. Assurance and protection of device identity, secure data encryption and authentication are the key security challenges organizations are trying to address when integrating IoT devices. This holds true for IoT applications in a wide range of industries, for example, healthcare, consumer devices, and manufacturing. In his session at @ThingsExpo, Lancen LaChance, vic...
Big Data, cloud, analytics, contextual information, wearable tech, sensors, mobility, and WebRTC: together, these advances have created a perfect storm of technologies that are disrupting and transforming classic communications models and ecosystems. In his session at @ThingsExpo, Erik Perotti, Senior Manager of New Ventures on Plantronics’ Innovation team, provided an overview of this technological shift, including associated business and consumer communications impacts, and opportunities it m...
WebRTC has had a real tough three or four years, and so have those working with it. Only a few short years ago, the development world were excited about WebRTC and proclaiming how awesome it was. You might have played with the technology a couple of years ago, only to find the extra infrastructure requirements were painful to implement and poorly documented. This probably left a bitter taste in your mouth, especially when things went wrong.
In their general session at 16th Cloud Expo, Michael Piccininni, Global Account Manager - Cloud SP at EMC Corporation, and Mike Dietze, Regional Director at Windstream Hosted Solutions, reviewed next generation cloud services, including the Windstream-EMC Tier Storage solutions, and discussed how to increase efficiencies, improve service delivery and enhance corporate cloud solution development. Michael Piccininni is Global Account Manager – Cloud SP at EMC Corporation. He has been engaged in t...
You have great SaaS business app ideas. You want to turn your idea quickly into a functional and engaging proof of concept. You need to be able to modify it to meet customers' needs, and you need to deliver a complete and secure SaaS application. How could you achieve all the above and yet avoid unforeseen IT requirements that add unnecessary cost and complexity? You also want your app to be responsive in any device at any time. In his session at 19th Cloud Expo, Mark Allen, General Manager of...
WebRTC is bringing significant change to the communications landscape that will bridge the worlds of web and telephony, making the Internet the new standard for communications. Cloud9 took the road less traveled and used WebRTC to create a downloadable enterprise-grade communications platform that is changing the communication dynamic in the financial sector. In his session at @ThingsExpo, Leo Papadopoulos, CTO of Cloud9, discussed the importance of WebRTC and how it enables companies to focus o...