|By Ron Ross||
|May 31, 2014 06:42 PM EDT||
How many books on self-esteem and self-confidence have you read? Most of them tell you the same thing only using different words or different illustrations to make their point.
The Huffington Post carried an article titled, “9 Self-assuring Affirmations For When You Need a Little Boost.” I clicked on it hoping I might learn something new. I didn’t.
It was only a series of nine little pictures with clever sayings on them. The “writer” provided no content beyond a short introductory paragraph that ended with these two sentences: “If you’re looking for a little encouragement, check out the self-assuring affirmations below. Then take on the world with the knowledge that you’re capable of anything.”
My first thought was, “who doesn’t need a little encouragement? I know I do from time to time.”
My second thought was that I am NOT “capable of anything.” Heck, I proved that on Friday when I played basketball with a bunch of seniors and tried to jump to get a rebound. I can’t jump much over one or two inches anymore. No more jumping up and grabbing the rim like I did in college. Those days are over. I think I could affirm myself able to slam-dunk the basketball from here to eternity and it simply ain’t gonna happen.
Once I got over the grief of aging, I decided to read the affirmations because by now, I really did need a little encouragement. As I read the affirmations two words stood out to me – I and ME. One of those two words was a part of every affirmation.
Could it be that all the self-esteem gurus and all the confidence building techniques we have been taught are upside down? Do we really get self-esteem by talking to ourselves or do we get self esteem from doing something, accomplishing a goal, working hard on something that is important, maybe by helping others?
So here’s what I did. I took each of the nine affirmations that were supposed to give us a boost and I turned them upside down. By so doing, I may have made them right-side-up.
The first affirmation said, “This challenge will bring out the best in me.”
No doubt challenges bring out the best in us. When we are pushed beyond what we think we can endure or beyond what we think we can accomplish, we have to do our best and we often surprise ourselves at what we really can accomplish given the opportunity and the motivation to get it done.
But I want to turn that affirmation up-sided-down. Instead of saying, “This challenge will bring out the best in me,” why not declare, “How can I help you with the challenge facing you?”
Do you see the difference? It’s a huge difference. One focuses on me and my challenges and the other focuses on how I can help someone else through their difficulty. Now which one of these really creates the most self esteem? The one that is only a declaration about me, or the one that gets me involved in someone else’s life?
The second affirmation was “I will see the best in myself.” Once again I understand the affirmation and the problem that many people have always putting themselves down.
When you turn that affirmation up-side-down it takes the focus off of me, myself and I and puts it on the other person. Instead of “I will see the best in myself,” start declaring, “I will see the best in every person I meet today.”
What if you said something nice to every person you met today? What if you handed out compliments to the people you do business with or the neighbors next door or the people who wait on you at the mall?
The next affirmation that needs turned up-side-down is this one: “I know I can do this!” It’s a great affirmation and there is no question we need to have this idea in our minds and hearts because we all too often sell ourselves short.
Now let is turn it up-side-down. Let us go from “I know I can do this!” to “I know YOU can do this.” What if you started encouraging everyone in your family: your mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, brother, sister, everyone? What if you became famous for being an encourager of others? Would your self-esteem go up or down? I say it would go up without ever having to say to yourself, “I know I can do this!”
Another affirmation said this: “I will thrive when life throws me a curveball!” That certainly is better than saying, “I will bawl like a baby when life throws me a curveball.”
Turn it up-side-down and it would say, “I’m here to help you when life throws you a curveball.” Don’t you think your self-esteem will rise when your life is about serving others rather than just serving yourself?
The fifth affirmation said, “I love who I am becoming.” Whoa. Wait a minute. Wouldn’t falling in love with “who you are becoming” depend a little bit on “who you are becoming?” I can recall some times in my life when I was becoming a real jerk and NOBODY loved that, especially me. So let’s just forget that affirmation altogether.
The sixth affirmation said, “I am worthy of this opportunity.” Like the previous affirmation, that would depend on the opportunity. Fact is we have all been offered so-called opportunities that were really traps or frauds or snake oil. Now, I do like the focus on opportunity rather than the popular focus on entitlement or privilege that some people think they have because they are a certain color or age or profession or rank or member of a certified victim class.
The seventh affirmation said, “I have the power to achieve my goals.” Well aren’t you special. I have one question for you, “Have you ever used your power to help someone else achieve their goals?” That might bring you a great big surge of pride, self-esteem and self-confidence – not because you achieved your goal but because you helped someone else.
The eighth affirmation said, “I have so many good qualities to share with the world.” Do you see what I mean about how these affirmations? They seem so “I, me and my” focused that they are starting to make me ill.
The ninth affirmation we are supposed to start using to give ourselves a boost is this: “I am always growing and developing.”
OK, so here’s what I’m going to recommend on this one: Grow and develop a sincere interest in other people and stop gazing at your naval. Get out of you cocoon, get involved in something that focuses NOT on helping you become all that you can be, but rather helps someone else do the same thing. You will find more joy, more satisfaction, more self-esteem in focusing on others than you will ever find by focusing on yourself.
Artist and art critic John Ruskin who lived in the 1800s seemed has a sentence that summarizes the danger of focusing only on “I, me and mine”. He said, “When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package.”
To read the article that precipitated this blog posting, CLICK HERE.
Kubernetes, Docker and containers are changing the world, and how companies are deploying their software and running their infrastructure. With the shift in how applications are built and deployed, new challenges must be solved. In his session at @DevOpsSummit at19th Cloud Expo, Sebastian Scheele, co-founder of Loodse, will discuss the implications of containerized applications/infrastructures and their impact on the enterprise. In a real world example based on Kubernetes, he will show how to ...
Aug. 26, 2016 03:15 AM EDT Reads: 1,398
Personalization has long been the holy grail of marketing. Simply stated, communicate the most relevant offer to the right person and you will increase sales. To achieve this, you must understand the individual. Consequently, digital marketers developed many ways to gather and leverage customer information to deliver targeted experiences. In his session at @ThingsExpo, Lou Casal, Founder and Principal Consultant at Practicala, discussed how the Internet of Things (IoT) has accelerated our abil...
Aug. 26, 2016 02:15 AM EDT Reads: 1,930
With so much going on in this space you could be forgiven for thinking you were always working with yesterday’s technologies. So much change, so quickly. What do you do if you have to build a solution from the ground up that is expected to live in the field for at least 5-10 years? This is the challenge we faced when we looked to refresh our existing 10-year-old custom hardware stack to measure the fullness of trash cans and compactors.
Aug. 26, 2016 01:30 AM EDT Reads: 1,661
Extreme Computing is the ability to leverage highly performant infrastructure and software to accelerate Big Data, machine learning, HPC, and Enterprise applications. High IOPS Storage, low-latency networks, in-memory databases, GPUs and other parallel accelerators are being used to achieve faster results and help businesses make better decisions. In his session at 18th Cloud Expo, Michael O'Neill, Strategic Business Development at NVIDIA, focused on some of the unique ways extreme computing is...
Aug. 26, 2016 01:15 AM EDT Reads: 2,006
The emerging Internet of Everything creates tremendous new opportunities for customer engagement and business model innovation. However, enterprises must overcome a number of critical challenges to bring these new solutions to market. In his session at @ThingsExpo, Michael Martin, CTO/CIO at nfrastructure, outlined these key challenges and recommended approaches for overcoming them to achieve speed and agility in the design, development and implementation of Internet of Everything solutions wi...
Aug. 26, 2016 01:00 AM EDT Reads: 1,946
DevOps at Cloud Expo, taking place Nov 1-3, 2016, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA, is co-located with 19th Cloud Expo and will feature technical sessions from a rock star conference faculty and the leading industry players in the world. The widespread success of cloud computing is driving the DevOps revolution in enterprise IT. Now as never before, development teams must communicate and collaborate in a dynamic, 24/7/365 environment. There is no time to wait for long dev...
Aug. 26, 2016 12:45 AM EDT Reads: 2,246
Cloud computing is being adopted in one form or another by 94% of enterprises today. Tens of billions of new devices are being connected to The Internet of Things. And Big Data is driving this bus. An exponential increase is expected in the amount of information being processed, managed, analyzed, and acted upon by enterprise IT. This amazing is not part of some distant future - it is happening today. One report shows a 650% increase in enterprise data by 2020. Other estimates are even higher....
Aug. 26, 2016 12:30 AM EDT Reads: 2,896
I wanted to gather all of my Internet of Things (IOT) blogs into a single blog (that I could later use with my University of San Francisco (USF) Big Data “MBA” course). However as I started to pull these blogs together, I realized that my IOT discussion lacked a vision; it lacked an end point towards which an organization could drive their IOT envisioning, proof of value, app dev, data engineering and data science efforts. And I think that the IOT end point is really quite simple…
Aug. 25, 2016 11:45 PM EDT Reads: 2,274
Aspose.Total for .NET is the most complete package of all file format APIs for .NET as offered by Aspose. It empowers developers to create, edit, render, print and convert between a wide range of popular document formats within any .NET, C#, ASP.NET and VB.NET applications. Aspose compiles all .NET APIs on a daily basis to ensure that it contains the most up to date versions of each of Aspose .NET APIs. If a new .NET API or a new version of existing APIs is released during the subscription peri...
Aug. 25, 2016 10:45 PM EDT Reads: 1,867
Today we can collect lots and lots of performance data. We build beautiful dashboards and even have fancy query languages to access and transform the data. Still performance data is a secret language only a couple of people understand. The more business becomes digital the more stakeholders are interested in this data including how it relates to business. Some of these people have never used a monitoring tool before. They have a question on their mind like “How is my application doing” but no id...
Aug. 25, 2016 10:15 PM EDT Reads: 1,713
Identity is in everything and customers are looking to their providers to ensure the security of their identities, transactions and data. With the increased reliance on cloud-based services, service providers must build security and trust into their offerings, adding value to customers and improving the user experience. Making identity, security and privacy easy for customers provides a unique advantage over the competition.
Aug. 25, 2016 09:15 PM EDT Reads: 2,197
Qosmos has announced new milestones in the detection of encrypted traffic and in protocol signature coverage. Qosmos latest software can accurately classify traffic encrypted with SSL/TLS (e.g., Google, Facebook, WhatsApp), P2P traffic (e.g., BitTorrent, MuTorrent, Vuze), and Skype, while preserving the privacy of communication content. These new classification techniques mean that traffic optimization, policy enforcement, and user experience are largely unaffected by encryption. In respect wit...
Aug. 25, 2016 09:00 PM EDT Reads: 1,698
Using new techniques of information modeling, indexing, and processing, new cloud-based systems can support cloud-based workloads previously not possible for high-throughput insurance, banking, and case-based applications. In his session at 18th Cloud Expo, John Newton, CTO, Founder and Chairman of Alfresco, described how to scale cloud-based content management repositories to store, manage, and retrieve billions of documents and related information with fast and linear scalability. He addres...
Aug. 25, 2016 06:30 PM EDT Reads: 1,934
Is the ongoing quest for agility in the data center forcing you to evaluate how to be a part of infrastructure automation efforts? As organizations evolve toward bimodal IT operations, they are embracing new service delivery models and leveraging virtualization to increase infrastructure agility. Therefore, the network must evolve in parallel to become equally agile. Read this essential piece of Gartner research for recommendations on achieving greater agility.
Aug. 25, 2016 05:15 PM EDT Reads: 693
SYS-CON Events announced today that Hitrons Solutions will exhibit at the 19th International Cloud Expo, which will take place on November 1–3, 2016, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA. Hitrons Solutions Inc. is distributor in the North American market for unique products and services of small and medium-size businesses, including cloud services and solutions, SEO marketing platforms, and mobile applications.
Aug. 25, 2016 04:15 PM EDT Reads: 479