|By Shelly Palmer||
|August 31, 2014 03:01 AM EDT||
According to the US Department of Labor (www.dol.gov), Labor Day (the first Monday in September) is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity and well-being of our country.
Just for fun (and in honor of Labor Day and the people who work for a living), here is a list of buzzwords, biz speak and hipster droppings that should be banned from every business meeting forevermore.
- Engagement – It’s not a metric; it’s a concept that can be made to mean anything you want it to mean. Using it in a sentence without defining it should be criminalized.
- Native – This is the new “N” word. Like engagement, it’s a concept that can mean many things. Do you mean native to the technology, native to the culture, native to the platform? Or, do you mean, trick the user/viewer into believing that it’s real content? Perhaps you actually mean content marketing? Specify!
- Big Data – Large data sets come structured and unstructured. They can be mixed and matched by data wranglers, cleaned and washed, operated on by algorithms, mined, sliced, diced and julienned (for a delightful afternoon snack). Please say what you mean. If you say “big data” in a meeting, someone may actually ask you about the data set – be prepared to answer.
- Cloud – Cloud computing, SaaS, Cloud Storage? Which one do you mean? There are about a dozen other possible meanings. Ice cream castles in the air, clouds in my coffee… cloudy with a chance of meatballs! Just saying we’re going to do it in the “cloud” makes you sound… um… uninformed (and I’m being super kind).
- Programmatic – Do you mean automated delivery or algorithmically planned or arbitraged? Programmatic is another cliché catch phrase that doesn’t mean anything unless you add context.
- Learning(s) – Just stop! I learned, we learned, he/she/it learned – it’s the easiest verb to conjugate in the entire English language. Ugh!
- Ideate – Really? People who use “ideate” clearly have no idea about the process of ideation. It should literally cost $20 every time you speak it.
- Rock Star – Let me be very, very clear – there are no rock stars in any profession other than Rock music. Rap Stars don’t call themselves Rock Stars. Neither do EDM, Country, Soul, R&B, Jazz or even Folk Stars. Why on earth would anyone who doesn’t play Rock for a living think it’s OK to call someone in business a Rock Star? When you can jump across the stage and land on your knees while playing a Bb7#9 chord, screaming the lyrics (on key) with pyrotechnics exploding all around you in front of 20,000 adoring fans, you’re a Rock Star. If you’re great at media buying or HR… well, you get my point.
- Scalable – As opposed to what? We’ve built a new app that can only run on three devices simultaneously, but we’re hopeful. Who says that? Even if it’s true, you’re going to lie and say it’s carrier-grade and bulletproof. Has anyone ever been a meeting where someone said, “Our technology doesn’t scale”? Body shops don’t scale, people don’t scale, boutiques don’t scale, custom donut shops don’t scale… technology scales!
Ready for the sentence that started this rant?
Client: “Our Big Data Rock Star ideated a cloud-based, scalable, native programmatic tool set that produced excellent learnings that will help us promote engagement.”
Me: “Well, it sounds like he took it to the next level… efforting 110% to craft a best practices, robust solution you can leverage, and it’s clearly out of the box thinking… but maybe you shouldn’t try to boil the ocean… it’s got a lot of moving parts and I’m not sure it’s something you want to take ownership of, as it’s not clearly in line with your corporate values. You might be accused of punching the puppy, but the optics are all wrong. We should probably put this in the parking lot.”
(I didn’t actually say that, but I really, really wanted to!!!)
By simply attributing this list of banned words to me, you will receive a non-exclusive, worldwide, perpetual, irrevocable, royalty-free, sublicensable and transferable (through multiple tiers) right and license to exercise any and all copyright, trademark, publicity and database rights that you have in the User Content in any and all formats or media now known or hereafter devised in the future. You are further hereby granted the non-exclusive, irrevocable and unconditional right and license to describe, relate, broadcast, exhibit, transmit, publish, use, monetize, distribute and/or exploit your User Content in any such manner as you shall elect, in whole or in part, on the internet, in print and electronic form, in merchandising, publicity and advertising, or in any other media now known or hereafter created or devised throughout the universe in perpetuity. Ahh… I feel better already. Have a great holiday weekend.
We are always online. We access our data, our finances, work, and various services on the Internet. But we live in a congested world of information in which the roads were built two decades ago. The quest for better, faster Internet routing has been around for a decade, but nobody solved this problem. We’ve seen band aid approaches like CDNs that attack a niche's slice of static content part of the Internet, but that’s it. It does not address the dynamic services-based Internet of today. It doe...
Oct. 26, 2016 09:45 AM EDT Reads: 1,782
Between the mockups and specs produced by analysts, and resulting applications built by developers, there exists a gulf where projects fail, costs spiral, and applications disappoint. Methodologies like Agile attempt to address this with intensified communication, with partial success but many limitations. In his session at @DevOpsSummit at 19th Cloud Expo, Charles Kendrick, CTO at Isomorphic Software, will present a revolutionary model enabled by new technologies. Learn how business and deve...
Oct. 26, 2016 09:30 AM EDT Reads: 1,467
In the 21st century, security on the Internet has become one of the most important issues. We hear more and more about cyber-attacks on the websites of large corporations, banks and even small businesses. When online we’re concerned not only for our own safety but also our privacy. We have to know that hackers usually start their preparation by investigating the private information of admins – the habits, interests, visited websites and so on. On the other hand, our own security is in danger bec...
Oct. 26, 2016 09:17 AM EDT Reads: 141
DevOps is speeding towards the IT world like a freight train and the hype around it is deafening. There is no reason to be afraid of this change as it is the natural reaction to the agile movement that revolutionized development just a few years ago. By definition, DevOps is the natural alignment of IT performance to business profitability. The relevance of this has yet to be quantified but it has been suggested that the route to the CEO’s chair will come from the IT leaders that successfully ma...
Oct. 26, 2016 09:15 AM EDT Reads: 16,582
In his session at Cloud Expo, Robert Cohen, an economist and senior fellow at the Economic Strategy Institute, will provide economic scenarios that describe how the rapid adoption of software-defined everything including cloud services, SDDC and open networking will change GDP, industry growth, productivity and jobs. This session will also include a drill down for several industries such as finance, social media, cloud service providers and pharmaceuticals.
Oct. 26, 2016 09:15 AM EDT Reads: 2,048
The Internet of Things (IoT), in all its myriad manifestations, has great potential. Much of that potential comes from the evolving data management and analytic (DMA) technologies and processes that allow us to gain insight from all of the IoT data that can be generated and gathered. This potential may never be met as those data sets are tied to specific industry verticals and single markets, with no clear way to use IoT data and sensor analytics to fulfill the hype being given the IoT today.
Oct. 26, 2016 07:30 AM EDT Reads: 2,803
@ThingsExpo has been named the Top 5 Most Influential M2M Brand by Onalytica in the ‘Machine to Machine: Top 100 Influencers and Brands.' Onalytica analyzed the online debate on M2M by looking at over 85,000 tweets to provide the most influential individuals and brands that drive the discussion. According to Onalytica the "analysis showed a very engaged community with a lot of interactive tweets. The M2M discussion seems to be more fragmented and driven by some of the major brands present in the...
Oct. 26, 2016 07:30 AM EDT Reads: 11,523
SYS-CON Events announced today that Interface Masters Technologies, a leader in Network Visibility and Uptime Solutions, will exhibit at the 19th International Cloud Expo, which will take place on November 1–3, 2016, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA. Interface Masters Technologies is a leading vendor in the network monitoring and high speed networking markets. Based in the heart of Silicon Valley, Interface Masters' expertise lies in Gigabit, 10 Gigabit and 40 Gigabit Eth...
Oct. 26, 2016 06:45 AM EDT Reads: 3,395
As the world moves toward more DevOps and Microservices, application deployment to the cloud ought to become a lot simpler. The Microservices architecture, which is the basis of many new age distributed systems such as OpenStack, NetFlix and so on, is at the heart of Cloud Foundry - a complete developer-oriented Platform as a Service (PaaS) that is IaaS agnostic and supports vCloud, OpenStack and AWS. Serverless computing is revolutionizing computing. In his session at 19th Cloud Expo, Raghav...
Oct. 26, 2016 06:15 AM EDT Reads: 2,085
Fact: storage performance problems have only gotten more complicated, as applications not only have become largely virtualized, but also have moved to cloud-based infrastructures. Storage performance in virtualized environments isn’t just about IOPS anymore. Instead, you need to guarantee performance for individual VMs, helping applications maintain performance as the number of VMs continues to go up in real time. In his session at Cloud Expo, Dhiraj Sehgal, Product and Marketing at Tintri, wil...
Oct. 26, 2016 06:00 AM EDT Reads: 1,888
DevOps is being widely accepted (if not fully adopted) as essential in enterprise IT. But as Enterprise DevOps gains maturity, expands scope, and increases velocity, the need for data-driven decisions across teams becomes more acute. DevOps teams in any modern business must wrangle the ‘digital exhaust’ from the delivery toolchain, "pervasive" and "cognitive" computing, APIs and services, mobile devices and applications, the Internet of Things, and now even blockchain. In this power panel at @...
Oct. 26, 2016 06:00 AM EDT Reads: 2,059
As software becomes more and more complex, we, as software developers, have been splitting up our code into smaller and smaller components. This is also true for the environment in which we run our code: going from bare metal, to VMs to the modern-day Cloud Native world of containers, schedulers and microservices. While we have figured out how to run containerized applications in the cloud using schedulers, we've yet to come up with a good solution to bridge the gap between getting your conta...
Oct. 26, 2016 06:00 AM EDT Reads: 1,559
If you had a chance to enter on the ground level of the largest e-commerce market in the world – would you? China is the world’s most populated country with the second largest economy and the world’s fastest growing market. It is estimated that by 2018 the Chinese market will be reaching over $30 billion in gaming revenue alone. Admittedly for a foreign company, doing business in China can be challenging. Often changing laws, administrative regulations and the often inscrutable Chinese Interne...
Oct. 26, 2016 06:00 AM EDT Reads: 1,427
Enterprise IT has been in the era of Hybrid Cloud for some time now. But it seems most conversations about Hybrid are focused on integrating AWS, Microsoft Azure, or Google ECM into existing on-premises systems. Where is all the Private Cloud? What do technology providers need to do to make their offerings more compelling? How should enterprise IT executives and buyers define their focus, needs, and roadmap, and communicate that clearly to the providers?
Oct. 26, 2016 05:45 AM EDT Reads: 2,561
SYS-CON Events announced today that Streamlyzer will exhibit at the 19th International Cloud Expo, which will take place on November 1–3, 2016, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA. Streamlyzer is a powerful analytics for video streaming service that enables video streaming providers to monitor and analyze QoE (Quality-of-Experience) from end-user devices in real time.
Oct. 26, 2016 05:30 AM EDT Reads: 1,053